When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy...
but when planets do it we say they are orbiting.

Forecast for tonight: Dark.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. - Frank Sinatra

Birthdays are good for you. Studies show that the people who have the most live the longest.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

"They misunderestimated me!" -George W. Bush"

Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.

I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life... procrastinating and rationalising.

I'm a genius, but I'm a misunderstood genius.
What's misunderstood about you?
Nobody thinks I'm a genius.

"I'm not going to do my maths homework. Look at these unsolved problems. Here's a number in mortal combat with another. One of them is going to get subtracted. But why? What will be left of him? If I answered these, it would kill the suspense. It would resolve the conflict and turn intriguing possibilities into boring old facts."

*on the phone* Hello, I'm looking for something that can deliver a 50-pound payload of snow on a small feminine target. Can you suggest something? Hello...?

"Do you like being a girl?"
"It's got to be better than the alternative."
"What's it like? Is it like being a bug?"
"Like a WHAT?!"
"I imagine bugs and girls have a dim perception that nature played a cruel trick on them, but the lack the intelligence to really comprehend the magnitude of it."

hehehehe. see you! :)

D.